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2.08.2012

today i sat...

and rocked my baby boy.

Wade woke up early from his nap today. He's congested and all snuffly and woke up crying, "hol' me!" How could I resist. We sat in the rocking chair, his head on my shoulder, burrowing in, and we just rocked. I looked at the laundry piled on the couch (still there tonight too!), thought about the bread I was preparing to make and freeze, the Sunday School project sprawled on my bedroom floor... and then I forgot about all of that and just rocked.

He fell asleep.

I fell asleep.

When I woke he was still sleeping. Sunlight was streaming in through our back windows, it was so quiet. The only sound was Wade's little stuffy breathing.  I just soaked it in. The stillness, the softness of my baby in my arms.

Much is changing in our lives right now, Wade will be two in just three short months, I ask LG to stop growing, please, and she always refuses and insists that she has to grow!, Jon is pretty much done with his dissertation (a moment that used to seem so far away) and Lord willing we'll be moving to China at the end of this summer.  Yeah, that last one is the real kicker for me these days, turning everything upside down as we pray and prepare and plan and think about who we'll be leaving.  Living with lots of questions and only being able to trust the Lord's hand as He guides us... I guess that's how we should always live....

So I rocked Wade and I cried... never entirely sure what I was crying about...sort of half happy and half sad... it felt good.

He stirred and I rubbed his back willing him to go back to sleep for just a few more minutes. It didn't work, 30 seconds later he was wide awake and asking for a snack :)

(p.s. Lydda Grace was napping during all of this!)